6 years!

My dearest Caedmon,

How in the world are you 6?! i know i say that every year, but only because every year i am in disbelief.  and having to use a second hand to show how old you are has gotten here too fast.

you, my dear, are an amazing little boy.  if i can teach you half as much about living and loving as you have taught me these past 6 years, i'll consider myself a successful mother.  you have the kindest heart and the sweetest spirit.  i know i'm a little partial as your mom, but you are ridiculously smart.  you read absolutely everything now and never cease to amaze me in your thinking.  you love Jesus and show his love.  you told us that you didn't like when church doesn't teach about jesus, because you don't want to learn about anyone but jesus.  i hope you always love Him so sweetly!

you are halfway done with kindergarten as of today!!  you are having such a great year and i love how much you love it!

i know God has big things in for you, angel boy, and i pray you always have confidence to chase even your wildest dreams!!

love you the mostest mostest mostest, and a little more than that.
mommy

this sweet face

is about to start kindergarten!!  (praise the Lord it's only half day)
i can hardly believe it.
i remember talking about schools and such with chase a few years ago and kindergarten seemed SO far away.  and yet it's here.  in a little over 48 hours, i will be picking my first born up from his first day of school.  i know he will love it.  i know he will quickly find his place.
i pray he continues to be his independent self.  to march to the beat of his own drum.  to do what interests him, regardless if anyone else wants to do it.  i've always said he can't be classified as a leader or a follower.  he isn't afraid to play on the slide even if everyone else is playing on the swings.
i pray his sweet heart continues to lead him to love others.  to see past the outside and see their heart.
i pray he blesses his teacher every day.  and that he finds blessings in his classroom every day.
i thank my sweet God every single day for lending him to us.  and i pray He protects him and keeps him close in those 4 hours every day that he's at school.  

i love you sweet caedmon and i know you will shine bright this year!

TWO!!

my girl is TWO!!  what an amazing two years they have been.
i remember before she was born, i worried if she would change the dynamics of our family.  we loved being a family of 3 and caedmon was our pride and joy.  i had no doubt i would love and adore her, but what if she didn't fit in?  i realize now that sounds ridiculous, but as a hormonal pregnant lady, it was a real worry.
looking back on those thoughts, i laugh at myself.  did i really think God didn't have our family of 4 planned perfectly?!  she is the PERFECT fit for us.  she makes us laugh every single day.  she is seriously the funniest little ham i've ever seen.  caedmon was always funny without trying, and was known for getting mad if you laughed at him.  finley, on the other hand, LOVES to entertain and make us laugh.

at age 2, she:

• weighs about 25.5 pounds and is 32.5 inches tall
• wears a size 6 shoe
• wears anywhere from 12 to 24 month clothes
• wears a size 4 diaper
• has finally started eating fruit!  for the girl who has only eaten yogurt, oatmeal, breakfast bars, and snack foots,  strawberries and watermelon are a nice addition to her menu!
• LOVES dora and "mimmie mouse"
• has started talking SO MUCH.  her most used phrase is "NO, BIBI'S", which means "no finley will do it myself!"

Happy birthday to my sweet, perfect, wonderful babygirl!! The past 2 years as a family of 4 have been amazing!

perfectly imperfect

i've been mulling this post over for awhile.  perfectly imperfect.  that's my life and i wouldn't have it any other way.  social media definitely tends to make everyone's life look glossy and shiny (except for the few super negative nellies out there).  but if you've ever looked up close to a glossy image, you'll see indentions and maybe even cracks.  such it is with life.  the glossiness of social media can hide our imperfections and make others think we have perfect lives.

but i don't NOT share my imperfections on facebook, instagram, or the blog because i'm trying to HIDE anything.  i don't share all of them because they aren't what i focus on and dwell on.  anyone who has looked closely at my life has seen the indentions and cracks of imperfection.  but those don't define me.  they make me perfectly imperfect.

 i am not a super mommy. i lose my temper.  i snap at my kids.  i run and hide in my room when their daddy gets home just for a few minutes of quiet some days.  i very rarely do art projects and i certainly don't feed them a perfect diet.  but i love my babies.  i hug them 65,209,183 times a day and tell them i love them even more.  i charge them "kisses" in return for my help.  i tell them i'm sorry when i lose my marbles and i drop everything when they need snuggles . my mommy "failure" moments (which are sometime more often than i would like) don't make me a bad mommy.  they make me a perfectly imperfect mommy.

my marriage is far from perfect.  we've walked through darkness that seemed endless and valleys so deep we couldn't see the mountaintops.  but we have learned so much about grace and mercy and know that we would rather walk through the darkness together than hang out on mountaintops alone.  we can be short fused with one another (or maybe that's just me...he's pretty patient!) and fight over ridiculously stupid things.  we sometimes go to bed angry and have been known to hang up the phone mid-conversation in anger.  but we love each other immensely and delight in the small things together.  we watch friends together before bed and talk/text throughout the day because we miss each other.  i still ask him to stay home from work every day.  our ugly times don't make it a bad marriage.  they make our marriage perfectly imperfect.

so while my facebook pictures tend to be of my wonderful kids playing and smiling (with a few tantrum pics thrown in for good measure) and my status will NEVER be complaining about my husband (though i definitely write those in my head often! ha!), my life is so, so far from perfect.       but it IS perfectly imperfect, just the way my Daddy created it to be.  how good He is to love us and our imperfections so very much that He makes them beautiful.  He trades His glorious beauty for our ugly ashes and delights in seeing us perfectly imperfect.

so never, ever let what you see on facebook/instagram/twitter/etc. make you think someone's life is perfect.  or make you feel like your life is less than perfect.  we are all perfectly imperfect works-in-progress and the only difference is what we choose to focus on.  focus on the beauty and find joy in the little things.

22 months

Fee Fee (better known to herself as "bibis") turned 22 months old Monday!  She is such a little ham and always making us, as well as herself, laugh.  She challenges me and wears me out every single day, but brings so much joy and love to our sweet little family.  She is obsessed with her brother and thinks whatever he does or has is the coolest thing ever!  She has finally started talking a little bit more, but still communicates very well with little to no words when she wants to.

at 22 months, my finley girl:

• wears size 4 diapers.
• wears 12-18 month clothes for the most part, but some 18-24 month
• weighs about 24.5 pounds.  less than her brother at 12 months!
• wears a size 6 shoes.  the petite little thing has a big, fat foot!
• still eats very little.  her food preferences include oatmeal, yogurt, and pretzels.  she also loves the dried okra you find at fresh market.  and the girl LOVES chocolate, just like her mama.
• can say: mama, daddo, bubba, bubbles, shoe, book, okra (oh-ka-rah), nanny, please (peesh), yes (yesh), more, NO, mamaw, granddad (dah), ann reese (ann-eese), effay (what they call uncle jeff), shae shae (day-day), pops, eli (eh-li), school, oatmeal, and whatever else she decides she wants to say!
• loves Dora the Explorer and singing "backpack, backpack"
• still loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  the only 2 she ever calls by name are donald (ga-ga) and Pete, which i find hilarious!
• also likes to watch bubble guppies, and the way she says it is hilarious and i have no idea how to try to type it out!
• loves to hold her babies and push them in a stroller, but you are just as likely to find her with a hulk mask on or making dinosaur sounds.
• has to sleep with her "bebies", which include a minnie mouse, the first doll i bought her that we call "babygirl" and another doll we just call "baby".  She will hold them all while I rock her and i'm sure its a sight to be seen.
• still sleeps fabulous at night.  
• naptimes are hit or miss.  she might take a 2.5 hour nap and then not nap for 3 days.  or she may nap for 40 minutes 5 days in a row.  so unpredictable!
• loves to laugh and loves to make everyone around her laugh.  she's a pistol and never takes no for an answer.  i have no doubt that she will never let anything stand in her way in life!

A little about the boy

this kid is the sweetest guy in the world.  this is him on a jobsite with his daddy.  

he is getting so big!  he is super smart and keeps us on our toes with his questions and reasoning.

he is OBSESSED with all things numbers.  i see an engineer in our future.

he is the BEST big brother a girl could ask for.  on our christmas travels, there was a point where finley had had enough and was pitching her a good fit.  i look back and see sweet boy holding her little hand. anytime she is upset, he will say "she probably just needs her bubba"

he sleepwalks in to our room and climbs in our bed almost every night, but its usually in the wee hours, just before sunrise.  sometimes, however, he will come rushing through the house before i go to bed, between 11-12 and it is the cutest thing ever to hear those little feet coming to our room and his daddy puts him in bed and he's back asleep.  love him snuggled in the middle.

he told me the other day "i love daddy the most.  i love you almost to daddy. but not quite"

every day while finley naps, caedmon has quiet time in the living room and mommy has quiet time in my bed (hey its good for mommy!).  several times a week, caedmon will come in my room and ask "don't you want me to have quiet time in your room with you?"  of course i do.  will never turn down that sweet boy's snuggles!  

20 months!

20 months old!!  

this little sassafrass is on the downhill to 2. TWO?! how is that even possible.  

at 20 months, fee fee:

• wears 12-18 month and 18-24 month clothes (though the jammies in this pic are 6-9 month!)
• wears size 4 diaper
• needs to have a her foot measured because all her shoes are almost too small, so i'm guessing she's a size 6-6.5 shoe
• weighs around 24 pounds
• is still a very picky eater.  she eats a lot of what she likes, but likes very few things.  her favorites are: waffles, oatmeal, yogurt, crackers, and anything junk food, of course.  she LOVES chocolate like her mama.
• is a girl of few words but excellent communication skills.  girl knows what she wants and how to get it with very few words.  her vocab list additions lately: yes (but only when prompted to say it, she prefers to grunt an affirmative), apple (if only she would eat one!), ball...and that's all i can think of...definitely a girl of few words.  she has taken to calling her daddy "dado".  cutest.thing.ever.
• LOVES shoes.  i bought her some new target crocs on clearance and you would have thought i gave her a million dollars.  
• watches dora with her bubba and does the hand motion when they say "swiper no swiping". she will come running from the other room if she hears it.
• loves to play in the dryer and climb into the cabinets.
• is so much fun and we love her to pieces!!!

Respect

this is the Harrison family word for 2013.  i asked chase to think of a word our family can focus on this year and this was his pick.  respect for one another, respect for our children, our children respecting us and each other, respecting others and most importantly respecting our Father.

another thing i plan to focus on this year came to me this morning while running.  this morning run was horrible.  it was SO SO SO humid and there was NO breeze.  usually after the first 2 miles, i get my in my groove and enjoy the rest of my run.  not today.  at about 3.75 miles, with .25 to go, we had to big hills still to cross.  i told chase that this hill ahead was taunting me.  i decided to just focus on the road and not look at what i had ahead.  to which the Lord spoke to me and said, "exactly amber.  focus on what i have right before you, not on the hills in your future.  i will get you through it all, step by step.  keep your eyes on the now, not on the daunting hills."  so i'm focusing on the now.  not on things that may overwhelm me about the future.  (and though this was an awful run and i never felt good running it, it was still our fastest 4 miles yet at 38:40)

more caedmon funnies

on our gatilinburg trip (that was amazing and will hopefully get a post of its own....eventually), caedmon was watching tangled in the car and it had somehow gotten switched to spanish.  caedmon kept saying "mom! they know EVERYTHING in spanish!  all the words!  rapunzel just sang the whole "doing things in the castle" song in spanish!!"

caedmon has been asking his daddy if he can go help him build a building.  tonight chase asked him to to check his schedule, to which he replied "i don't have a schedule! how do i get a schedule?"